Porn Valley – I’m having drinks the other night at a place called Taboo with Steve Volponi, and Lauren Phoenix’s ass is in my beer. A comment, which might take some explaining. Volponi heads up a company called Reel Productions/Reel Interactive and their first release, out this month, is something called Reach Out, Touch Me, Lauren Phoenix.

I was reaching out and attempting to touch Phoenix. And it was real close but no cigar. This is because to be specific, Phoenix is coming alive off of Volponi’s lap top. Of course I have to wear the stupid glasses in order to get the effect, but I’m telling Volponi his is the best attempt at 3D porn I’ve seen yet. It’s been tried before with varying degrees of lack of success, but I think Reel Productions has got this thing nailed. Volponi tells me he’s received similar comments, that the Phoenix show is light years ahead in the interactive format.

I know what I’m seeing. This stuff is out there. Literally. It’s in your face. Literally. I feel like I should be sticking my fingers in Phoenix’s ass and asking for her phone number. Or maybe sticking my car keys in and seeing if it’ll crank like my ignition.

Volponi’s only got a few minutes to show me of Phoenix being fucked by Steve Taylor, Volponi laughing that Taylor’s but a meat puppet in this scenario that it’s all about Lauren. But that doesn’t mitigate the circumstance of Taylor’s cock practically foaming my beer, as well. I get a little nervous with this intimacy. It’s all too real looking. Volponi orders another round. He’s ordering a lot of rounds this evening.

Volponi claims the interactivity in this movie beats anything that Digital Playground currently has on the market, Volponi taking some pleasure in the fact, since he used to be the ales manager over at Digital. Volponi tells me the plans are already on the drawing board to take the series at least to a Volume 5, all with different girls. Melissa Lauren’s in the next volume. She upchucks in 3D.

Volponi’s telling me how the 3D process has gone 12 layers deep on the renticular, whatever the fuck that means, but I think what this basically states is that you have 3D more pronounced that ever before. All I know is Phoenix is looking like a genie popping out of Volponi’s lap top. It’s astounding. More astounding is the fact that I discover Volponi and I had been neighbors back in Lower Bucks County, the Philly suburbs, except we didn’t know it until now. Volponi from Bristol, me from, Bensalem, which means I was basically, down the street from him. What are the fuckin’ odds I ask Volponi. We talk about Mill Street and Route 13. To that Volponi orders another round. I’m almost ready to talk about Croydon but I don’t want to press my luck.

I start telling Volponi a story about a strip club. He knows exactly the one I mean. I’m supposed to meet Lynn Lemay there one night except I stop off at a 7-Eleven along the way. I meet this girl. I pick up this girl. My rationale is that porn chick razzle-dazzle usually being what it is, I got a better shot with this girl in the hand than Lemay in the bush. Consequently, I stand Lemay up and she’s busted my balls ever since. By the way, I fucked the other girl in the ass.

To which Volponi relates a story about the same strip club except his father’s best friend is gunned down by one of the bouncers. Had something to do with a beef involving his father’s friend’s son. Gunned down in cold blood. A sad story as Volponi relates it. Otherwise Volponi, being a salesman in the adult business, maintains a steady stream of chatter. 3D chatter like Phoenix’s ass dancing in your face, Volponi himself a 3D character who always wears his baseball cap backwards. His stocky build and thick forearms giving him the look of a catcher on a baseball card.

That being said, it’s pretty funny when Volponi uses words like renticular. Volponi’s got a couple of partners in this enterprise from the mainstream, one of them is buddy from Bristol, Jerry Maurio, the other being Bob Rudi
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“I’ve never been a silver spoon kid,” Volponi explains, talking about how he put his kid sister through school and that the adult industry has allowed him to be very fortunate in that respect. “I’d rather be lucky than good.” When Volponi tells me he also plays in a tightly knit band called The Redneck Role Models, I tell him about my favorite group Half EatenTuna Sandwich. Volponi’s never fuckin’ heard of them, he laughs. Which surprises me no end.

Volponi and I start talking about another drinking establishment on Ventura Blvd., and what makes all of this relevant is the fact that Otto Bauer had just shot some footage there not too long ago for his movie Otto and Audrey Conquer the World.

Except someone went and Molotov’ed the place last week or the week before apparently after an argument which started inside and went outside- guys beating each other in the face with rocks. Apparently one of the guys had been flagged and spit in a lady bartender’s face because of that, her boyfriend not taking too kindly to it and started beating up the drunk. The drunk came back and fire bombed the place. He was later apprehended. Volponi was sitting in the bar adjacent this whole time and got a play by play from his waitress as to what was going on next door.

So I’m asking Volponi what was going on a Digital that he left, Volponi explaining how he left. Mark Kulkis and Kickass Pictures to take the job at Digital. “Mark’s a smart guy, a great guy, an honest guy” says Volponi. “My biggest mistake was leaving his place.” Volponi’s particularly impressed over an instance when even though he was already gone from the company, Kulkis still gave him a finder’s fee just because Volponi casually introduced him to an account Kulkis didn’t have at the time. Volponi, who also had eight years and change over at Legend, says Bruce Mendelsohn was. Likewise, one of his big inspirations.

On the other hand, Volponi states that, “Samantha [Lewis] painted green pastures and delivered a nightmare” where he was concerned. And, apparently, when Volponi stated his intentions of leaving, having been fed up with the operation, he was promised two month’s severance, according to him. Instead, he got one. When giving his reasons for leaving, Volponi told Lewis that the morale over there sucked.

“The company is micromanaged by two tampons,” Volponi laughs, explaining that he’s referring to Lewis’ sisters. “The common denominator to the problems is the family,” he states. “No one’s got the balls to say anything. There’s a lot of unhappy employees.”

Volponi remembers an instance when Lewis apparently got on public address and made the announcement that if there were, indeed, any unhappy employees, they should leave the premises. Volponi’s chuckling as he relates this, telling me about another time how he walked in the Digital Playground kitchen to find a rat as big as his dog Luigi scurrying across the floor.

I hear about an employee named Donna who was relieved of her duties apparently because Lewis claimed Donna shit her pants. Volponi swears this is all true, that this is what Lewis told him, that she had to get rid of Donna because she shit her pants. Like what the fuck is this all about. Not too mention the time when Tera Patrick apparently shit where she ate. Volponi claims Patrick and Ali, the owner, evidently had something going at one of the Berlin show, Patrick later telling Lewis about it.

What makes the story both peculiar and interesting is the fact that Lewis was secretly married to Ali at the time, according to Volponi, and that when Patrick later told Lewis about the fling, Lewis’ reaction was not only fairly casual but consensual.

Volponi also likes to tell the story about how Donna’s replacement, who’s black, is introduced to Montel – that Lewis evidently dresses up a black dildo in a suit and glasses, calling it Montel. Donna’s replacement is given a release form to sign, acknowledging that if ever the word “nigger” is uttered on the premises it’s only a reference to Montel and not to be taken in any other way discriminatory. “If I was Marcus, I’d beat them over the head with the dildo,” Volponi laughs.

This is some pretty wacky shit, I’m telling Volponi. His wife April later joins us. I’ve met April once before, on the run, but now get a good chance to check her out, April, a pretty redhead, better looking than any porn star I can think of. I remember Volponi’s earlier comment about how he’d rather be lucky that good, and this is one of those instances, evidently. Volponi tells me how he and April courted- by email.

“She’s the best wife in the world.” Volponi’s telling me. “I wouldn’t trade her. And if he changes his mind, Volponi can always have Montel sign a waiver.